cause you mean more to me than any earthly thing....

so lately i have been playing my guitar more, i still can really only play G,C,D,Em tho, which is ok, cuz many worship songs only use those 4 chords lol! anyways, so i have about 3 songs set aside with those cords that i can play and one is Lord Reign in Me, and it was stuck in my head to day at work as i was off in the corner by myself making dilly bars (sometimes it kills me to be so anti-social, other times its great to chat with God!) anyways so im singing the words (in my head, and occasionally outloud :P) and this line comes up "cause you mean more to me, than any earthly thing" and i stop, it just hits me like a brick in my stomach, i have been singing this song for days, but all of a sudden that line just hit me, it impacted me like i imagined a semi would. that line just stuck with me, bounced around my head. "cause you mean more to me than any earthly thing" its a powerful line, and its made me question, is it true in my life, i love God, dont get me wrong, but does He really mean more to me than any earthly thing? i know the answer should be yes, im just unsure of if it is, but thats ok, cuz i know if it isnt, thats something God and i will work through and it will be yes. what about you? does God mean more to you than any earthly thing? would you sacrifice your own son or daughter if God asked you to? cause i dont think there is a single person in the world who could mean more to you than your own child.
"cause you mean more to me than any earthly thing"
hmm. let it sit with you, take a moment. ponder it in your own mind and spirit.

i turn to Him (my strength)

when i walk through hard times
when im at battle day after day
when i've lost the strength to carry on
i turn to Him

He alone is my strength
He alone is my desire
He is all i need, all i need
i turn to Him alone
He is my strength

when i walk through times of need
when i find myself in the desert
when i'm broken and shattered
i turn to Him

He alone is my strength
He alone is my desire
He is all i need, all i need
i turn to Him alone
He is my strength

when i walk through times of joy
when i find myself victorious
when everything is perfect
i turn to Him

You are my hope, my desire, my strength
You are my light, my power, my strength

C.R. bound!

so im headed up to campbell river for the day!!! soooo stoked!! im meeting up with kara-lee just after 2 so i think i will spend my morning helping ryan if he needs it, or wandering around campbell river!! and then im very very excited to hang out with K-L, man, havent seen that girl in forever!!! and then there is youth tonight up there! woot woot! i love those kids, they are completly off the wall, but completly amazing!! so yah, im very excited!!

such a night owl....

so here it is, 1235pm and i just finished my application for PLBC in Surrey (woot! woot! soooo freakin stoked!!!), am now blogging, and after this gonna go do my devos and chill with God for a bit, its crazy!! the earliest i ever work is 10am (tmr not till 4pm) so i find myself in this strange cycle of sleep (well i guess its not really for most people my age) but i stay up till usually anywhere btwn 11-1am, usually closer to 1am, and strangely enough, its when im most productive!! crazy to think eh? i have been working on setting time aside each and everyday to spend with God and so i tried mornings, they just dont work for me, i just dont function, plus that snooze button wins most of the time! but you know what i have found? that right before bed is a good time for me, and i have discovered, that it doesnt matter what time it is when i go to sleep, if i have spent the last bit of it with Jesus, my next day goes amazingly well! for example, last night i did my devotions at 1230am, got up at 9am (which is enough sleep) and felt amazing all day!! and not just a "oh its sunny life is good" kinda day, very much a "i love Jesus, and this is the day He has made and i will rejoice in it" kind of day!!

Gen Unleashed

so, it was amazing! obviously, when you go to a conference with 3000-4000 other passionate youth, amazing friends and leaders, amazing worship, great speakers, and the most influencial person>>>Jesus, of course its going to be a great time!! here is some highlights of the weekend for me.
-->van time and chill time, it was great getting to know these amazing young men and women of God more!! it was so awesome getting to stay in the same house as all the girls and get to know each of them more than i had before the trip, i seriously, love you all!!! and on sale ice that really isnt on sale...hhahaha c'mon! people die everyday!
--> the first night of worship i struggled through, but kept pressing in, and after the sermon there was an alter call, and i didnt go up to the front but i did start bawling my eyes out in my seat, kels came over and prayed for me, and i cried, and cried, and cried, and then boom! i was done crying, God set me free from stuff i didnt even know was holding me captive!! it was awesome! Thank-you Lord!
-->altho Portland Bible College is AMAZING!! just being there made it all more clear to me im supposed to go to Pacific Life in Surrey, its an amazing church, but i just know!
-->learning to rely on His strength more, and not as much of mine, "more of you, less of me" i can see why i felt i was supposed to title my blog that!
-->i have been freakin out now that im actually applying to bible college, thoughts constantly run through my head "i cant do this" "i cant be a youth pastor" "im not good at talking in front of lots of people" and you know what i realized? thats completly ok! cause it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with allowing God to speak through me, i never want to get up and preach, i want to get up and let God speak to His children through me!

well, im off to FOURTH!! its our first young adults service!! and im all napped up and very very excited!!!

and the winner is.....

PLBC in Surrey!!! woot woot!

so i have been thinking and praying about this for awhile (not just since my last blog post lol) and i feel way more at peace about PLBC!!!! I'm soooo excited i can seriously, barely contain it!!! i want to like scream at the top of my lungs, i want to jump around like a crazy lunatic....ahhhhh! im just sooooo freakin stoked!!!

im printing off the application today and hopefully getting started on it today, or else it will have to wait for next week since im going to Generation Unleashed in Portland this weekend...which i am also stoked about!!!!

oh yes! what im applying for! a BA in Pastoral Leadership with a major in Youth Ministry!!
its four years!! crazy!! haha, and i have always wanted to be married and start having kids by the time im 25, but i will just be grading, but ya know what?? i am 100% ok about that, im gonna lay that down!!! cuz im just doing what God asks of me!! and this is something He has had on my heart for a long time!

the next step.....

so dairy queen is not what God has planned for my life, lol.

He has clearly told me, not once, but twice that He has called me to be a youth pastor, so i have decided to go to school in the fall, and what better thing to go for than that which God has called me? for awhile i was thinking of going to NIC to get my early childhood care and education, but really feel that bible college is where God is calling me next, i have been getting this itch to move forward for a couple months now, not move away, or escape, but a step forward.
so, at the moment, i have 2 options in front of me, PLBC in Surrey, or else PBC in Portland.

so looks like i will be spending some extra time in prayer and convo with God, so please pray for me, pray that God would speak clearly and i would know without a doubt which way to step, cause i dont want to step the wrong way!

thanks!